Monologue at 3am.

They say inspiration comes from heartbreak,

Or the power of falling in love,

Yet I am experiencing the magic of both,

The magic so powerful it kills me,

But rejuvenates me at the same time,

I feel electrically alive, I feel deadly sorrow,

I am a paradox, caught between heaven and hell,

Do I belong in the heartless cold of winter?

Or will I discover life again in the beauty of summer?

To that we shall discover,

And thus the journey of my poetry unfurls.

Now where do I begin?

Too many collections, my mind needs a little digging,

But halt, as I am still in the midst of freezing,

I cannot now flee the bitter cold,

Because as one needs to step into their escapism,

A tender sacrifice must be build before the birth of the sun.

I once knew a story of a girl,

Her journey was too painfully intriguing,

It is simply impossible to hide it from the world,

And now I write on her behalf as she is slowly healing,

From the bleeding and the reaping.

She pleads me to be gentle with her story,

But I said she needn't worry,

For I too am singing the same song and beating the same drum,

Because then it dawns on me that the girl and I are one.

_______________________________________________________________

She was in the winters of her life,

The sun was dead and the skies were crying with grey,

The heart of the river stopped flowing,

Just like her heart.

Her tender loving heart, oh she misses it so,

Her sweet gentle heart, he took it by surprise,

He took it by swapping with his,

And she loved it like it was hers, she cared for it like a child,

And she was jubilant for she loved him so, until he destroyed it.

Murdered it, left it in the cold,

And she was shattered to pieces; she was shivering, she was helpless.

For deep in her heart, she knew that she would never get it back.

And if she did, ‘tis will never be the same again,

As she gave her all to him, her whole.

Neglected and destroyed her fragile heart he did,

And this is the part that kills her the most;

She still keeps his heart safely in her crushed soul,

His was beating vigorously within her and yet she's never letting it go.

She was okay when you were gone,

Through the heartfelt pain of thousands of knives stabbing her,

The overflowing river of her tears.

She survives.

She was okay throughout the slow ticking of the clock,

The sun smiling sinisterly upon her, the rain drowning her,

The image of you with the girl haunting her constantly,

The cold memory of your last goodbyes,

The painful acceptance of learning you will never win her again,

The hurtful sayings that you never did appreciate her love for you,

She still survives.

She still survives strongly.

Yes, she is going to be okay.

- a.i.a.